Since its that time that many people are scrambling to buy chocolates and flowers as a way to express their dying devotion to another or else scrambling to find a last minute date to prove they are not the loser they feel they must be since they are still single; well I feel inclined to write a post about love as it is to me. To all this I say, guess what…you are missing the entire concept of loving both yourself and another. It should not take one day to prove your worth or worthlessness or your devotion to another. These are things that should be done continuously and with purpose of growing and evolving with another. Even if you are single this is what we should all be working towards for the purpose of the future so you are whole for your future mate, your growth and evolution must come first so that you are 100%. Our worth should not be based on opening a card, eating a box of candy or smelling the flowers. It should be based on our truth, our passion, loves, our strength and our character. Dating is hard, and as we get into this internet age its even harder to find that person to connect to, that said when you find that person who you have that electrical connection, who makes you stir with passion and you cant stop holding their hand or kissing them, keep them. Work at it, step up and be an active member in your relationship. Don’t give up when its hard, don’t quit on the other person, the best things in life come with work and that goes for love as well.
It takes courage to love, it takes strength and patience but it also takes giving a fuck about another human being and their wants, desires and feelings. I have seen so much selfishness lately in love and dating, cowardliness, running away, deception and its debilitating to my soul. We should not be in this world to see what we can take from each other, what we can manipulate someone into giving us or what we can acquire from another. We should be here to give to each other, to teach, learn, grow and evolve ultimately through love. It is through connections that we grow, and though these connections may not last forever we should learn to leave them with the grace and love just as we entered into them. My hope is that if love fades and we leave it is done with kindness, so that what is carried within is good positive karma. Leaving is never easy, not for the person being left nor the person doing the leaving but if we leave with cruelty, anger and vengeance that leaves another broken we are acquiring that karma that will be carried until it has been worked through, a crappy karmic circle. Who wants to carry all that shitty karma, why not just have the balls to talk and be honest and leave the other person with a sense of closure. We should give to another what they deserve from us, and in that we would also get from them what we too deserve. It is not a one way street, upon giving we are receiving, its not so tricky as it may seem. It is not as elusive as we all sometimes perceive it to be. In taking you are only taking, in loving you are both giving and receiving love back from the greater energy that is in all of us.
I am most proud of always trying, of having strength to not run away from love, friends, or jobs. Ok sometimes I was a stupid asshole that held on tenaciously when I should have jut let it free…but we are all sometimes weak and ultimately will walk away from something, and sometimes this is done in our best interest. It is my hope that when this is done, it is done with kindness and not with anger or revenge so that we will all grow just a little in our spectrum of energy. Imagine if we all did this, what a huge growth of goodness would come of this. We are not here to be broken but to heal and work towards wholeness; but life is life and we are often broken, shattered humans walking around trying to find a piece to fit inside of us. Thinking that it is another that will ultimately make us happy, to fulfill our lives. What we should be looking for someone to compliment us not to complete us, and often this is confused. “you complete me” is total bullshit, you are you and should complete yourself, love yourself enough to not need the love but instead want it in your life. We should not have to save or heal our partners to love us, we should never settle for less than we deserve, for those half-loves, broken promises, dreams left undone, love left unsaid kind of love.
We reap what we sow, we get what we give, our lessons will be given until we learn, our karma will be with us until we work through it. Life is short, we never know when we may go to that great gig in the sky so be kind, love fiercely and with hope, without fear and regrets, these are what I want for all of us. Look for that someone that makes you laugh, that makes your heart flip flop at the mere sight of them, that ignites passion deep inside of you. The person who wants to be better for you not because of you. Love everyday and not just on some crappy holiday that tells us to. Happy un-valentines day my fellow humans….