Listen to this song and…think about where you are now, where you were yesterday and where you want to be tomorrow? Would you change to get there, to be a different person, a better person. It is up to us, to facilitate our rebirth. Life and the universe will give us abundant choices and some will be easy, but mostly they will be hard, tear us apart, break us and bring us to our knees; But there will also be joy, kisses, friends, smiles and laughter, reaching out to pull you close as you sleep, to teach us that we can love and be loved. Life…our teacher, bringing us people to mirror our growth so that we can find our belief in ourselves; to see the deeper truth of who we are, what we are destined for. Look for the signs that the universe gives you, the gifts it bestows on all of us. Be aware and open to seeing them, feeling them, being a part of the immense power of beauty and spiritual energy that is in all of us. The connection we all have in this life is the ability of love, to empathize, to offer understanding and compassion. The more we give love, the more we get love in return for it is an ever flowing and abundant fountain.
This year has brought me to an awareness of my gifts, my abilities that I tried for so long to hide, to be ashamed of, pieces of me to hate. I am now learning to see my gifts as ways of connection, empathy, compassion, and healing. To be aware of the gifts of the universe in the huge smile of the little boy as he waves to a complete stranger, in the baby squirrels stealing walnuts out of the tree, and the little girl who walks up to me to touch my hand and say hi. Those gentle and genuine smiles, offers of connection on our most basal levels. I am learning that holding on to things, people, ways of thinking, control is the chaos we inadvertently cause to disrupt our path. The lesson of the phoenix, who rises out of complete destruction, out of the ashes to become new, is one that I am learning in this lifetime. Seek and you shall see, surrender and you will flow in the path the universe has destined to you.
I have found my voice, this gift inside of me that was hidden so deep, locked away to be found through the loss of self. This destruction does not have to be as painful as mine, but I was holding on so tightly to what I thought I needed to be secure, old and outdated ways of thinking. Security in love as we are told to have, the job and status that brings us money and pride. When in reality is just our belief in ourselves, in others, the connections we give and receive, the lessons we learn and teach; The people we love and leave behind, the loves of our life and the heartbreaks, it is all the birth and the death of self. These are the things that truly matter, the connections we made, the empathy we gave, the hand we held and the arms we hugged with.
One of my favorite movies is Jacob’s ladder. This quote from the movie summarizes my year for me so well that I had to share it:
“The only thing that burns in hell is the part of you that won’t let go of your life: your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away, but they’re not punishing you, they’re freeing your soul. If you’re frightened of dying… and you’re holding on, you’ll see devils tearing your life away. If you’ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth.”
I will change, I am leaving behind the person I was, I am letting go of my attachments, releasing those that no longer serve a purpose, no longer build me up, no longer bring love and support. I will utilize this change to heal, to start fresh, to be who I was always destined to be…Who are you destined to be…